Fight Club

Argument, drama, have it out, drop gloves, go postal, get medieval, open a can of whoop ass, rip a new asshole, quarrel, bicker, bitch, bump heads, get in ones face, lock horns.  They all mean the same thing.

Fight.

I have a predilection for a good fight and it is no secret to those who are close to me.  Often I wonder where I get this desire to force conflict into my life.  I wonder if it was because I saw a lot of arguing and fighting growing up or am I just an unhappy person who is desperately trying to maintain a certain level of ambiguity.

Could it be that I am just a passionate person that is seeking acceptance and trying to have other emotions than the ones that currently occupy my heart and mind? 

I am not sure why I do the shit I do, but I know that some of the biggest 'fights' in my life have ALWAYS improved the overall relationship in the end.  The difference is that I never intend to fight in order to hurt someone, I do it because I hurt. I feel confused, unjustified, ignored, or jealous. You name it and I am sure I have felt it. 

I fight because a change is needed and sometimes it takes this temporary disruption to refocus on what is important in life.  Separation, no matter if it is just a few hours or a few months does help to heal a relationship.  It gives you time to reflect, mature, and sometimes learn different ways to communicate the simple words of 'I am right and you are wrong'.

Recently, I had a situation that caused me to not speak to my family for six months.  It sucked because the reason why was foolish, but in the end the relationships we share are not only stronger, but they are appreciated.  I can only think that if the feud never occurred our status would be where it was previously, and that makes me sad because it was forced, fake, and strained.

The people whom are closest to my heart have at one time been at odds with me.  It is tough to admit it, but I have said awful things in the heat of the moment, refused to apologize when I should of, and even have tried to kick someone's ass (it was Bub and no, it did not work).  In the end those people were important enough to fight with.  We may have been exhausted and drained, but we weathered the storm.  The yelling stopped and no more 'bad' facebook statuses. We embraced each other and confessed the true feelings that we have for one another.  Together we got through the turmoil to reach a understanding, that you are important enough to fight with.

So the next time when you find yourself in the middle of a argument with someone you love remember that it is alright to disagree.  I think it is a part of a healthy relationship as long as you continue to communicate.  Those who do not argue lack passion and motivation.  I would never want to be married or find myself in a friendship with a person who just agrees with me, even though it is tempting.