Have you even been wronged by someone? Has someone shattered your heart, your existence, your soul?
Have you ever thought "How will I get past this? Forget this? Forgive this?"
Forgiveness is really a hard thing to do. Trying to reconcile feelings of betrayal and anger is not second nature for some of us. It takes time, patience, and in some cases therapy. To forgive someone is a selfless act that not only eases the spirit of the hurt, but also the hurter.
How long do you hold on to the anger, hurt, betrayal? How many days, months, years? When is the right time to stop the continuous track that plays in your mind? When will your heart let it go and allow you to feel again.
I have been asking myself these questions for a few weeks now. I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness, because there may be some people out there I owe it to. I am not sure if I can forgive those who have done me wrong, and I am not sure if I can keep with the feelings of resentment either. Being wronged is an exhausting battle. It keeps you from experiencing joys that would otherwise come so naturally. You pull yourself into your "shell" and hide from the world, almost knowing that trust will never be an easy thing to do anymore. I need to decide what is more tiring, being angry or trying to work on forgiving.
I want to think it is all worth it, I am not sure it is. How do I know that it will be alright? Will those who I forgive understand that it was an epic battle for me to go through this? Will they break my heart again? As you can see there are so many unanswered questions, and not knowing the outcome will make me vulnerable. Still leaving me stripped bare to be hurt yet once again.
Forgiveness is the ultimate gift. It tells someone that you care enough to overlook the bad in order to move to the good. I just hope it is a gift I can afford to give.
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