I am nothing. Small. Minuscule. I am the root of all problems. I am the cause of all conflict. I am lazy. Unsuccessful. Emotional liability. I am negative. I am foul. Guilt ridden. Unforgivable. I am full of doubt. Unable to move forward. I am a living voodoo doll just stab me anywhere and watch me wince. There's no pain. I want all your sharp words and accusations. I am the shoulders to bear the weight of it all. I am the reason and the blame. I am the albatross around your neck. My words can only be heard if written for the ones that are spoken are lost upon deaf ears. I am unable to be loved unconditionally. I am a disgrace. I am invisible. Ignored. Indifferent.
I am lost. Searching for reasons that I will never find. I know how the lost souls feel. I understand the dark. I am.
So my love....how did you get into my mind and write the sum of what I am feeling/have felt for much of the time I have been on my "adventure"?
ReplyDeleteWhile you have written what I feel, we both know that it isn't true for either of us. Many people love us both, and we make a difference to all of them.
You tell me to be strong....I will tell you the same. It is not as dark as it may seem. I'm going to hug the hell out of you in less than 10 days....and when you hug back, I'll know you know the feeling of the sun breaking through the clouds.
(Can't wait that long? {{{{{{{{spidermonkey}}}}}}} {{{{{{{J}}}}}} )
I love you.
ReplyDelete